The Opposite of Joy

I have been avoiding. People, places and things. There is nothing that can hit you quite as hard as deep, dark depression. As transgender, most of us are depressed, so I am not illuminating any truths here. But I was side-swiped by my wife on telling our daughter and I still haven't come to terms with what it actually means about us as a couple.

So I'm still not doing anything. My entire life I've had to fake it for others and now I am stalled out because of someone else's issues. Unfortunately it's someone I love and don't want to lose. I don't know how to make her feel comfortable with this. She is perfectly fine if you are gay, or a drag queen or a gay drag queen, I don't understand why she isn't alright with me just being me. Sure this is close to home for her and there are two transgender people in the immediate family. It's a bit odd, having two, but I didn't set it up, hell until just a year ago our son was a female lesbian. I didn't come out first, so I am the one who has to wait? How does that make sense?

Anyway, I don't have much to write, just letting the three people :) who read this know that I am still here. I'm still standing, just not happy about it. I'll find a way to kick back around, to being alright and in life again. Just not yet.