Step one, you say we need to talk...
You are humming the song in your head now.
So I went to the therapist today. She was very nice and jumped right into it with very little worry about paperwork before hand. I don't know what I was expecting, but I was pleasantly surprised when it was almost just like on the telly and in movies. There was a small couch, not for laying on. I really enjoyed our session, I got to talk about my life and how I felt. It was very cathartic. I'm not going into any details, but I was exhausted after only an hour and I spoke more about me in that hour than I had spoken about me in months to anyone.
I am going back next week. I think this will help me to understand me. I am how I thought, like a deep undercover detective who has spent about 46 years as a drug dealer. Eventually I started thinking like how I thought a man would think. I don't really know me very well. Am I an introvert, or is "the guy" an introvert because I am hiding and don't want to draw attention? Who am us, anyhow?
I came out with more questions, but on the right path. I have a good feeling about this and about where I am headed. I am getting to be me more and more, getting therapy and being positive about things. Wow, it's been a busy year.